This ONE big thing that will transform how you feel about your options

All the decisions are YOURS to make – so how do you navigate all this?

When you are pregnant, you will be faced with a lot of decisions to make. Even for the most decisive people, this isn’t easy, especially now that those decisions impact the baby(s) too. To layer on top of that, no decision during labour & birth is ever fully black & white, there’s no ‘this is right & this is wrong’.

It’s so individual & nuanced.

Some situations will be standard & expected whilst others may be more unpredictable.

It sounds obvious but…

Informed decisions should be made by you & your birth partner only. Choices are only choices if you know all of the options.

What do I mean by informed decision making? A woman & her partner are given all the options available with the benefits & risks laid out for each option.

Unfortunately, in many cases, women feel that the choice isn’t theirs. Sadly, research shows that women don’t always get to make informed decisions during labour & the birth trauma that subsequently impacts so many women is down to how they felt during labour, as opposed to what actually happened (i.e. how a member of staff made them feel, whether they felt in or out of control, what they felt was happening TO them as opposed to BY them)

This isn’t on. The very fact that I’m writing a blog about what informed consent looks like, saddens me. But here we are. It’s better you read this & know your rights.

Whenever my couples are faced with a decision to make during pregnancy, labour, or birth, I gently encourage them to use the below acronym, BRAINS.

This acronym stands for

• Benefits – What are the benefits of making this decision?

• Risks – What are the risks associated with this decision?

• Alternatives – Are there any alternatives?

• Intuition – How do I feel? What does my ‘gut’ tell me?

• Nothing – What if I decide to do nothing/wait and see? What happens next?

• Space – Asking for space to make a decision with your birth partner

  
  

Use this whenever & whatever time you need to. It will help to structure decision-making & give you as a couple the space to reflect & make the next decision. Unless there’s an emergency, you are FULLY within your rights to request space & some time for thoughtful reflection.

I hope this helps,

Grace x