Birth Story – Jessica & John (first-time parents, elective c-section)

I was one of the pregnant ladies who wanted everything natural and had actually made it my goal to have a natural vaginal birth. When I first had to consider the what ifs in labour and birth I cried. Everything inside me wanted to dismiss the thought, but a little part of me knew I had to remain open to the idea, however much I hated the thought, because the only thing I can be sure about in birth is that as much as I had an idea of the exact thing I wanted, I cannot inherently control EVERYTHING & birth doesn’t always go exactly how we plan it to. 

This is where Grace’s gentle and wise birth preparation classes really helped me and my husband. After considering my first ideal birth preferences (vaginal homebirth), we also had preferences planned for an elective c-section as well. At this point I had no idea I would opt for a c-section, but by going into it writing preferences for different outcomes felt so much more comfortable that it was still personal and respectful of my choices. Grace also helped us to think about choices such as optimal cord clamping, immediate skin to skin, music & essential oils I could have in theatre. I came to understand that it was being able to think through all my options and make choices in advance, that would give me the positive birth experience. It’s not necessarily the birth itself, it’s how I was made to feel throughout the process. I also came to see as time went on that a safe birth choice for me felt more like an elective c-section than a spontaneous vaginal birth. Changing my goal really helped me to see what was important & what felt safest for me & my baby on the day. 

Grace was brilliant in her excellent communication and helping me to process any changes to our preparation ahead of the big day. Where compromises were found in my unborn baby, it was a case of wait until I went into spontaneous labour, where statistically I could still end up with an unplanned c-section or elect for one myself. The thought of going into an unplanned c-section after labour would have felt far more traumatic for me because I have autism, so to deal with the unknown, unpredictability and sensory issues was too much to bear. Choosing an elective c-section slightly earlier than the 42 weeks helped me to feel prepared for it and more in control. I knew the day, the time & the consultant who would be with me in theatre, so it all felt far more familiar & calm. I cannot fault the staff at New Cross hospital who supported me, too.

On the day, Grace arrived early ahead of the c-section to be with us. She met us in our private room in the morning, before I went into theatre. She reassured us and went through our preferences again to make sure the theatre staff were informed. She even took one last picture of our bump & us as a couple before we went in. She was with us right until we entered theatre with the staff we already knew & had been introduced to earlier that day. After theatre, Grace joined us in the recovery room and brought me a nutritious soup to get my energy levels up. I also had some sugary tea which was heaven on earth after being nil by mouth for the best part of 8 hours. I felt very fragile and vulnerable straight after birth and my husband too. It was overwhelming. Having Grace with us bought us both together & was so reassuring. She offered us a quick debrief which was so helpful to process the enormity of our last 9 months and then birth and then the tiny helpless baby at the end of it which was a shock to us first time parents.

I remained in hospital for a few days having observations & support from the midwives in regards to feeding & looking after our baby. Grace visited us the next day with more delicious snacks, offering reassurances & such valuable advice at this early stage. I felt safe with her. She visited us postnatally & our last session together we went for a pram walk. We took a picture & we will remember her support forever. 

I can honestly say that I had a very positive birth experience even though it was highly medicalised & not what I pictured initially. Having written my birth preferences way before knowing what might happen in my pregnancy & having time to process all these things enabled me to still feel in control of our choices. We made the right decision for us & our baby.

Jessica x