Birth Story – Alexandra & John (second-time parents, VBAC)

On Friday 9th January, at 41+2, I began having irregular contractions during the night. They were completely manageable and very spaced out, with no real pattern to them, but I knew they were different from the Braxton Hicks I’d been experiencing in the weeks leading up to this point. They lasted throughout the night but fizzled out as soon as morning came.

On Saturday morning, I attended my usual reflexology session, experiencing the odd contraction here and there, but again, nothing unmanageable and I could go about my day as usual. I deliberately tried to ignore them for as long as possible and avoided timing anything until I truly couldn’t ignore them anymore – this was the best advice from our doula, Grace. It saved my sanity in the final few days of pregnancy.

Saturday night arrived, and the same thing happened as the night before; contractions that were still very spaced out and rhythm-less, but noticeably more intense. 

By Sunday morning, I felt exhausted. I hadn’t slept at all on either the Friday or Saturday night, and by this point I felt tired, drained, and very uncomfortable.

Although the contractions had eased off somewhat on Sunday morning compared to the night before, they were still very much there and slowly ramped up as the day went on. This hadn’t happened in the previous 2 days, so this was good news! Around 4–5pm on Sunday (11th) evening, I phoned Grace to update her on how things were progressing and how I was feeling heading into another night. If I’m honest, I felt really anxious, convinced I was facing yet another completely sleepless night, with no baby at the end of it.

But this time was different; Grace came over early Sunday evening to check in on me and John, do some light rebozo work, drop off supplies, and talk through what the next few hours might look like. I was encouraged to rest where possible and eat nourishing food. By around 7–8pm that evening my contractions had really started to pick up. They still hadn’t found a clear rhythm, but they were stronger, closer together, and far more intense than the previous nights.

In the early hours of Monday morning, I could no longer ignore them. I started briefly timing them on my Freya app and focused on staying mobile. Movement was the only thing that brought any relief at this point; swaying, rocking, walking, leaning over the bed and birth ball. I put on my TENS machine and used my Yuula balls for comfort – these were a god send. Around 2–3am Monday morning, my husband, John phoned Grace to explain that I was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and to ask for further guidance. Grace suggested some position changes and upping the TENS machine intensity. This guidance helped me labour a few more hours before phoning Grace again around 7am with an update. Now, contractions were coming every 1–2 minutes, lasting 60–90 seconds or more, and I needed additional support. I felt as though I was becoming out of control and needed Grace to help guide us through the next stage.

Grace arrived at our home around 9am and stayed with us until our daughter arrived, and a short while afterwards. By now, I was in significant pain and needed further comfort measures. Aromatherapy and water felt like the next best steps.

While Grace phoned the homebirth team to let them know I was in labour, my husband set up our birth pool and transformed the living room with candles, towels, music, and snacks. When I came downstairs, it felt magical. And I couldn’t believe I was labouring at home, just as we’d planned. I was so happy that already this experience was so much more positive in comparison to our first birth. I felt calm and excited to get into the water — this was what I’d been working towards my entire pregnancy. As soon as I got into the pool, I felt instant relief. The pain was still very much there, but I felt able to cope and back in control. Changing environments from the bedroom where I’d laboured for three nights to our living room, made a huge difference.

Shortly after, my two midwives arrived. They were lovely, and I immediately connected with them — particularly one midwife, Rachael, who stayed with me throughout the birth and helped to deliver our daughter. As labour intensified further, I requested additional pain relief and was given gas and air — which worked wonders for me. I absolutely loved it and think it’s the best thing since sliced bread lol.

In my birth plan, I’d stated that I didn’t want any vaginal examinations unless I requested one. However, after some time with the midwives present, Rachael asked if I’d consent to one. I agreed, purely out of curiosity to see how far along I was. I was very pleasantly surprised to learn I was 6cm dilated. That knowledge gave me such a boost and reaffirmed that what I was doing was working. From then on, I continued using gas and air, vocalising, and breathing through each contraction. I even managed to have a good laugh with everyone in the room, at points. And although it was intense and painful, I just felt so happy that it was finally happening for me, and in the way I’d planned and worked so hard for; I was labouring at home, in water, without fear, surrounded by people I trusted. I felt safe, and so positive that I was going to get my long awaited VBAC. 

 By now, time had completely disappeared, and I was very much in labour land. After a couple of hours, the midwives noticed that our daughter’s heart rate had risen slightly and remained higher than they were comfortable with. I was advised to transfer to hospital, which I reluctantly agreed too. By this point, I was aware that I was around 8cm dilated, confirmed by another consented vaginal examination.

Once the ambulance arrived for my transfer, Rachael accompanied me on the way to the hospital, and did everything she could to keep me calm. Less than five minutes into the journey, my body began pushing on its own, and with the first push a gush of waters released. This transfer was the hardest part of labour for me, it wasn’t something I wanted or really expected at that time, and as I was taken out of the water I felt the intensity and pain of labour a lot more.

When we arrived at the hospital, I was met by additional staff, transferred into the room where I would eventually give birth, and immediately began pushing. I tried several positions, but to my surprise I felt most comfortable pushing on my back. 

After around an hour and a half of pushing, and following a small cut, our daughter arrived into the world. I achieved my VBAC — and my God, it was worth every second.

I felt elated. Euphoric. The moment she was placed on my chest, everything felt right. I felt complete peace and an overwhelming sense of pride in myself. That feeling is addictive, and I relive that labour and birth time and time again. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat; it was the most out of body and magical experience of my life.

I had a physiological third stage, and ‘waited for white’ before I cut my own daughter’s cord. This was another magical moment for us, and something that I’ll always remember.  

Grace stayed with us throughout and was absolutely incredible. She carried me through that labour and made me feel completely safe. She held my hand every step of the way and gave me unwavering confidence in myself and my ability to get my VBAC.

After our daughter, Willa, was born we were left completely undisturbed for the next two hours. No interruptions, no rush — together for the very first time. The lights were dim, Olivia Dean playing in the background (as she was when Willa was born), and everything was calm. I feel as though no words I could write, will ever fully explain how healing and magical this labour and birth felt for me. It truly healed me from our first experience and it’s really something I could do again and again. In fact, I’m excited to have another baby (if we’re ever lucky enough) and experience this all over again … and even better. It’s changed me for the rest of my life and I’m so thankful