10 things you need to know about doulas…
Doulas aren’t clinical, but in themselves are a form of pain relief
Not all doulas are sage-waving hippies
Doula’s do not replace your midwife or birth partner, ever
Doulas are there to support whatever birth you like
Doulas are not anti-hospital or anti intervention, they are just pro-woman & baby
Doulas come in all shapes & sizes, make sure you find the right one for you
Doula dates provide far more than just education antenatally
Doulas (well this doula) comes with no agenda or bias – they just want the best for you
Doulas don’t ever treat any birth like a dress rehearsal
Doulas are worth their weight in gold
1)
Yup, doulas aren’t clinically trained and so would never replace a midwife or another HCP. HOWEVER, doulas in themselves are a form of pain relief. We provide comfort, reassurance, emotional & practical hands-on support to reduce labour pain. Even just having that continuity of care, the reassuring presence of a doula in a room who holds space will promote a safe enough environment for the mother to express everything she needs to without any inhibition or feelings of fear/anxiety or judgement. ‘If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it’
2)
Nope! As much as the me 5 years ago would have thought this too, it’s simply not true. Just like the word ‘hypnobirthing’ could put many people off, the word ‘doula’ can also have the same effect. Sure, doulas come in all shapes & sizes, with differing levels of training, skills & passions. There’s a doula out there to suit everyone. Doulas are knowledgeable about childbirth, birth choices & know where to signpost & support from an evidence-based perspective. Personally, having completed 2 scientific degrees, my angle as a doula will always be to ensure my clients are well informed & educated, using the latest & most up to date scientific research. Just like my career previously, I have undergone extensive training & mentorship under Doula UK, to ensure I comply with the UK code of conduct & philosophies. With me you will find straight talk, compassion, empathy, continuity of care, less woo woo and not a sage leaf in sight.
3)
Doulas play a fab ‘in between’ role when it comes to midwives & birth partners. (Most) doulas aren’t clinically trained, but are very knowledgeable about the hospital systems, the risks & benefits of medical interventions during labour & have experience supporting women in the system. Midwives, of course, play the clinical role, whereas doulas would provide practical hands-on & emotional support. Most midwives are grateful to have a doula around to support the woman when they are run off their feet with a busy ward! A doula will ‘fill the gaps’, so although they could never replace the birth partner or the deep emotional connection the mother & partner has, they would gage where support is needed. For example, if the partner is very practical & hands on, but is feeling less confident or comfortable offering emotional comfort, the doula would step in & do this. On the other hand, if the partner is all the birthing woman wants for emotional support, the doula would ensure the practical stuff is covered. So, all in all, a bloody good team!
4)
Doulas are there to support whatever birth you like – why? Because it does not matter to me in the slightest how or where you give birth. What matters:
Was that birth a positive experience for you & your baby?
Did you come out of that birth feeling in control & confident of your choices during the process?
How do you feel now?
Are you more confident going into feeding/early motherhood knowing how amazing you just did?!
Research has shown that women are more likely to be traumatised when their level of care (rather than the events of the birth) do not meet their expectations.
5)
Doulas are not anti-hospital or intervention. Although there are some doulas & birth keepers with very strong opinions on these matters, it wouldn’t be fair to say every doula is! Personally, I am pro-woman/baby & her INFORMED choices during labour. For example, If she knows & understands about the potential cascade of interventions which could happen because of accepting induction, but is happy with that choice & would prefer that to another route, I am behind her 100%. However, it is important to say that up to 45% of mothers have reported to have had some level of birth trauma at the hands of the hospital system, and that’s why it is so important to doulas that women can benefit from antenatal education & strong advocacy during labour & birth to ensure the woman’s choices are met and we’re not just ‘going with the flow’
6)
Doulas come in all shapes & sizes, make sure you find the right one for you. Being in labour & giving birth is one of the greatest privileges I will ever have to witness, but it is also one of the most personal & vulnerable spaces for my clients & partners to be in. So the person they choose to have by their side has to be right. The energy has to be right. Make sure you interview a few doulas before booking one to make sure you’re both completely comfortable & know you’ll be the best team!
7)
Doula dates are first & foremost, there to educate you and your partner on labour, birth & your choices throughout this process. But I find that my sessions provide a lot more than that for my couples. They can offer connection, a well-protected & carved out time for couples to talk & reconnect, understand their own beliefs about birth & open up about any concerns, anxieties and excitement they have. A safe space to share thoughts & feelings without judgement or systemic agenda or medical bias. A time to feel connected to their bodies, and awe at what they’re creating together. Remembering why they’re having a baby together! It is both a joy & a privilege to witness this when I work together with my couples antenatally.
8)
Doulas work for you, and you only. They come with no agenda or bias, or want/need to push you in any direction you’re not comfortable in. This is YOUR birth, YOUR baby & YOUR experience.
9)
Birth isn’t a dress rehearsal. Birth is one of, if not, the biggest event that will happen in your life. You will never forget it. The conversations that were had, the environment, how you FELT in certain moments. Please treat it with as much respect & preparation as you would any other huge event in your life.
10)
Doulas are worth their weight in gold. I challenge you (with zero judgement) that if you think this investment is too much during your pregnancy, think again. How much have you or would you spend on another significant event in your life, such as a wedding? How much have you already or plan to spend on your gorgeous baby? How much did those nursery accessories cost? Life is expensive, but there are definitely some things worth investing in than others during early parenthood. A doula is a worthwhile & arguably crucial investment in today’s maternity crisis. The chance of having a positive birth experience is scientifically proven when a doula is present. The impact a positive experience has will ripple across mums, babies, partners, families & friends. A positive birth experience will impact positively on early parenthood; confidence in feeding, lower chances of postpartum anxiety or depression, improves longer term pelvic floor health & supports recovery from birth. The list could go on. A doula is WITH you, WITH woman, until she is confident enough to go on without her (well that’s my ethos, anyway)
I hope this is useful & gives clarity on some things – here if you need me
Grace x
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